So, I took a break from the online dating - life got a bit crazy and I just couldn't focus on it. But I returned just a few days ago and I am surprised at the messages - I mean, when did we become such a society of people that just have far too much word vomit?
And I'm not talking about the racy or sexual messages you get - cause people are just going to be like that - but the one's that are offensive without maybe them trying to be offensive?
Or maybe they are. I have learned over the years that men are far more sensitive than they would like us to believe and they are far more needy than they want us to believe either. I mean, I remember in high school where you were "clingy" if you wanted to talk every day or walk the halls together or whatever else. They were "too cool" to hang with you every day and now, it's like the tables have turned.
So, so far some of my favorite messages from guys.
"How is someone so beautiful still single?" Oh come on. Guys, there are 100 different things that you can message to a woman other than that - it's lame and I kind of get insulted. So - if I am still single then what? Somethings wrong with me? I'm like everyone else in the dating world trying to find their match - I haven't been so lucky with my choices but it's my nature to look at the positive and keep trying. However, if I have to write that to all of you - it gets old, boring and why in our first conversation do I need to tell you my personal life story?
See? What ever happened to talking about hobbies or what you do - or Twinkies - something!
Another favorite. "Oh, so your still trying aren't you?"
Uh, ya. And by you messaging me - it looks like you are "still at it too." So are you trying to offend me? Check. Make me mad? Check. Make me understand why you are still SINGLE? Check. Your a jerk - it's obvious. Don't message me that I'm still at it like it's the black plague that is about to consume a small village. If you are embarrassed about being on a dating site - delete your profile and good luck at the bars.
My last favorite. Your profile is a list of everything that you don't like, don't want and somehow you think you are so great that women will bow to your greatness for saying all that "honesty." Look alive. Your profile - should be positive. Should be about you and what you are looking for. Not what you don't want, that "if you have this or that don't message me", etc., etc. Don't be offended when you stay single "for another year" but can't figure out why.
No negative. All positive. If you send a sarcastic message expect one back - and don't get mad when that's what you get back. Don't ask why they are still single - and don't be offended when they message you back that "that's a bit cliche by now." If you have a picture with your shirt off - that's what you are going to attract - so don't list in your profile you aren't looking for a shallow girl.
Be real. Be funny. Have a heart.
My favorite profiles are one's that make me laugh to almost tears, that are so original that you have to just respond or that say something random - like "I have to eat chocolate in the bathtub so I won't get fat."
If you want real love - start being real.
Much love and happiness,
The L Grl
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Be Honest with your Heart
When's the last time that you had a sit down and an all important talk with your heart?
Been awhile eh? I figured.
Being honest with yourself is difficult enough, throw in having to be honest with your heart and it isn't so easy. It is possible for your head and your heart to agree you just need to sit down and have a chat. One person I know goes as far as to have a date with themselves once a week.
I like that idea, date myself once a week. Really get to know myself because really, how else can you share your life with someone else if you don't really know yourself.
It took me a long time to be comfortable in my own skin and really know myself and just the other weekend I guess me and the opposite sex didn't see eye to eye. When I told him that I wasn't really sure about where I wanted to go with him or anyone and that I didn't plan that I just wanted to have fun and see what developed.
How he took it? Broke up with his girlfriend, called me to hang out and told me it was over, but kept the girlfriend at bay but kept me and figured I would be okay with it because I just wanted to enjoy my time. Uh, no.
Guys, release the safety net. Let go of the what if's and the ex's - go out on a a date with yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want and what you are capable of. Let go of "always being friends with my ex's" because again, you are hanging on the the past and not looking to the future. Being friends with your ex doesn't make you a great guy it makes you always have options. I'm not saying the be a jerk and never speak to them again but there are ways to be cool with your ex's without being friends - same goes for the female side.
So, I think this guy needs to date himself and be alone. He can't go out without dressing as a character - whether it's business, Scottsdale style, kickback style, rugged bike style - whatever he has to have a style. And pick out multiple outfits before choosing his final selection. Seriously, lets focus. Know yourself, know what you are capable of then date.
If you are in your 30's and you think that 6 months is a long time with someone and you are heart broken because you ended it - get over it. It was only 6 months, and not until you are in love, for years will you understand what love is and how beautiful it can be.
But if you aren't open to it, and don't even know who you are just character's playing a part - don't date and spend some much needed alone time.
Then, sit down with your heart and have an honest heart to heart with it. LOL!
Much love and happiness,
The L GRL
Been awhile eh? I figured.
Being honest with yourself is difficult enough, throw in having to be honest with your heart and it isn't so easy. It is possible for your head and your heart to agree you just need to sit down and have a chat. One person I know goes as far as to have a date with themselves once a week.
I like that idea, date myself once a week. Really get to know myself because really, how else can you share your life with someone else if you don't really know yourself.
It took me a long time to be comfortable in my own skin and really know myself and just the other weekend I guess me and the opposite sex didn't see eye to eye. When I told him that I wasn't really sure about where I wanted to go with him or anyone and that I didn't plan that I just wanted to have fun and see what developed.
How he took it? Broke up with his girlfriend, called me to hang out and told me it was over, but kept the girlfriend at bay but kept me and figured I would be okay with it because I just wanted to enjoy my time. Uh, no.
Guys, release the safety net. Let go of the what if's and the ex's - go out on a a date with yourself. Figure out who you are and what you want and what you are capable of. Let go of "always being friends with my ex's" because again, you are hanging on the the past and not looking to the future. Being friends with your ex doesn't make you a great guy it makes you always have options. I'm not saying the be a jerk and never speak to them again but there are ways to be cool with your ex's without being friends - same goes for the female side.
So, I think this guy needs to date himself and be alone. He can't go out without dressing as a character - whether it's business, Scottsdale style, kickback style, rugged bike style - whatever he has to have a style. And pick out multiple outfits before choosing his final selection. Seriously, lets focus. Know yourself, know what you are capable of then date.
If you are in your 30's and you think that 6 months is a long time with someone and you are heart broken because you ended it - get over it. It was only 6 months, and not until you are in love, for years will you understand what love is and how beautiful it can be.
But if you aren't open to it, and don't even know who you are just character's playing a part - don't date and spend some much needed alone time.
Then, sit down with your heart and have an honest heart to heart with it. LOL!
Much love and happiness,
The L GRL
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